Anybody else old enough to remember PAPER straws that they used to give us in grade school to drink our milk? Sure, they tended to collapse after a few sucks, but biodegradable!

That claim about not being able to afford it was absolute horse manure. Like, seriously? He realizes he’s why those neighborhoods aren’t affordable anymore, right?

JFC. I an afford Bushwick, so unless you really fucked up your savings, dude, you can too.

I loved that he said that going to Burning Man was akin to discovering America. In some ways that metaphor makes sense but not in the ways he intended (a bunch of rich caucasians acting like they’re the first to do something that’s actually not new/undiscovered).

“It’s like, could you imagine having discovered America?” he says. “Would you stop talking about that? It’s like, I went to this new land.

cool story

Me volunteer.

What the fuck is male/female energy.

He is so incredibly punchable.

This guy sounds like the kind of person I’d chew my own arm off to avoid hanging out with.

“Overly-bombastic, misleading shaming rhetoric” ...is what you’re doing right now.

Because the military and intelligence agencies will suddenly cease to exist if you vote third party?

I have zero problem with being a “moderate” person.

“I am indignant at the use of this overly bombastic misleading shaming rhetoric! My word!”

You should vote how you want.

Sorry that you have to pretend Hillary Clinton alone is personally responsible for every war the US has been involved in EVER, so that you can help Donald Trump get elected.

You don’t get to just pretend that your moral high ground doesn’t have real world consequences, jerk

It’s fine that you don’t want to vote for a candidate that you don’t think represents your ideals, but it is also fine that Bee lives in the real world and recognizes that: (1) there are only two candidates with a chance to win this presidential election and (2) if you refuse to vote for the one that most closely…

I’m sure deep down she really respects your need to remain morally pure.

Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.