The protocol is lying and not getting caught doing it. You have to do both bits.

Edit: sorry, missed reading the whole of point 2.

Rat, meanwhile, gives off Shining vibes

::picks up torch and pitchfork, rouses rabble::

Stories about Trump’s coronavirus fears have spread through the White House. Last week Trump told aides he’s afraid journalists will try to purposefully contract coronavirus to give it to him on Air Force One, a person close to the administration told me. The source also said Trump has asked the Secret Service to…

You’re welcome.

Came here for this exact thing.

“How much lube” is not the right question.

I mean, these are the politest vandals ever, right? Two thirds of the ones linked, it’s a sign out the front or stuck to the windows, no damage. Easy cleanup!

540 calories per Big Mac

this Batman may be grimmer and grittier

This is my go-to when flying long enough that a meal is going to be a thing. I’m Australian, usually on Qantas planes, and the standard Indian veg meal is often two types of curry with a little rice in between them, and it’s pretty damn good. Curries usually stand up pretty well to being reheated, and the strong tastes…

Non-disclosure agreements fix everything!

Fur real, the puns around here are just kitten ridiculous.

People will be queued up for this cat, convinced that they can provide the loving home that will turn her around and change her into a sweet, purring lap cat.

Laverbread is Welsh, and SOMEONE is in the shit for suggesting that it’s English. As we speak, a large and menacing Welsh choir is on its way to Damon Young’s house to sing threateningly at him in close harmony.

You can also donate directly to the RFS (Rural Fire Service, the volunteer fire service in NSW) here, and Victoria’s CFA (Country Fire Authority, also volunteer) is accepting donations for both the CFA and the Bushfire Disaster Appeal here. For the Queensland fires, go here.

I’m Australian, so this may not happen in the US but I have heard of car insurance here offering cheaper rates for people who agree to have aspects of their driving monitored e.g. QBE’s ‘Insurance Box’ that plugs into your car and records speeds and distance travelled, braking pressure applied etc. Also some health…

...someone’s going to destroy your suitcase trying to shove there’s in the bin...

No, that’s the meth.