I’ve wanted to share this story but was never able to as it’s barely food related. But, the Dominos/Pizza Hut story brought it to mind and now is my time.

Bum Me a Dart, Bum Me Dart, break me off a piece of that sweet death oh lord I am niccing so hard please for the love of christ just givemethesmokeineedit or I might MURDER SOMEONE

Because I hate myself and have some sort of latent death wish?

I’m just gonna throw on my sleep shirt and peruse the comments.

Better yet, Truck-Hump.

Switch that around and it becomes Hump-Truck. And that’s funny because i’m 12 mentally.

there is nothing i love more than the fact that the RNC has completely lost control of this rapidly sinking ship

illegal immigration leads to a “bad element” coming into the country

I always love the invocation of Schrodinger’s Immigrant: “them illegals stealing our jobs while they sit around on welfare popping out anchor babies.”

And she’s only 16?!? She’s going to be so wonderfully terrifying someday.

I also worked at a Subway (so glad to hear these are your favorite stories). My story is short but fucked up: I worked there when I was 16, and was often left alone. This was in a small New England town before the present heroin/pill epidemic became a problem. so that was really no big deal, plus my parents lived a 10…

Really? I thought it was buying the coffee shop and running it into the ground.

It means stabbing the barista and robbing the till.

Missing the point. The American Flag is not a symbol of racism.

“Beauty lives here. *So do racists. But not as many as Boston.” is the greatest line ever to grace a flag.

Something Awful have some good ones.