I’ve wanted to share this story but was never able to as it’s barely food related. But, the Dominos/Pizza Hut story brought it to mind and now is my time.

Bum Me a Dart, Bum Me Dart, break me off a piece of that sweet death oh lord I am niccing so hard please for the love of christ just givemethesmokeineedit or I might MURDER SOMEONE

Because I hate myself and have some sort of latent death wish?

I’m just gonna throw on my sleep shirt and peruse the comments.

Better yet, Truck-Hump.

Switch that around and it becomes Hump-Truck. And that’s funny because i’m 12 mentally.

there is nothing i love more than the fact that the RNC has completely lost control of this rapidly sinking ship

illegal immigration leads to a “bad element” coming into the country

I always love the invocation of Schrodinger’s Immigrant: “them illegals stealing our jobs while they sit around on welfare popping out anchor babies.”

And she’s only 16?!? She’s going to be so wonderfully terrifying someday.

I also worked at a Subway (so glad to hear these are your favorite stories). My story is short but fucked up: I worked there when I was 16, and was often left alone. This was in a small New England town before the present heroin/pill epidemic became a problem. so that was really no big deal, plus my parents lived a 10…

Really? I thought it was buying the coffee shop and running it into the ground.

It means stabbing the barista and robbing the till.

“Beauty lives here. *So do racists. But not as many as Boston.” is the greatest line ever to grace a flag.

Something Awful have some good ones.

I wish people would catch on that the debate isn't really about Pluto. It's about all the other objects of similar size that have been discovered in recent years. It was the discovery that Eris was bigger than Pluto that sparked the whole redefinition in the first place. So it's not about whether Pluto is a planet,…