Even if I did own instead of rent my house, I wouldn’t be able to put a goddamned dishwasher in my house, this kitchen is already small as it is, man (which is sad because this was a hell of an upgrade from my postage-stamp kitchenette in my former apartment). Besides, I am a fucking control freak and only when I do…

Nothing like a good hatefuck to make you regret your life and the choices that make it /fistbump

Eh, I’m starting to get over it, but for a while it was like instant trigger-temper around those accents. Now it’s more like “why did you put an ‘r’ at the end of that word, THERE IS NO ‘R’ IN BANANA”

sigh I am ashamed to admit that I was the one who wanted to keep fucking this one guy after he dumped my ass, and then I finally did. Once. And had to have him constantly remind half-drunk me that he was not in love with me in any way shape or form. It was like I could smell eau de “bad decision” in the air the entire…

Right up there with “tried to keep fucking”. NEVER WORKS.

I once was in a relationship with this Yorkshire transplant who charmed me senseless, but he turned out to be way less charming and dumped me without even wanting to tell me why. Double whammy: I moved in with his dumb ass and he kicked me out with no place to go besides my mom’s. I banned everything even remotely…

Goddamn, same here, and I’m front desk at a hotel. Not that I don’t enjoy BCO (former foodservice slave employee here holla)

Jewelry as an accessory to me is foreign. “Statement necklaces”? “Cocktail rings”? “Body chains”? Nah, I’m cool with my antique necklace my grandmother gave me and my engagement ring. You try to pierce any part of me and you might not live to see the dawn, though.

Dude, same way—I need my quiet time where I can eat ice cream right outta the carton and watch Disney movies with wild abandon and no one to stop me after a day of people. It’s really not personal, just, being social really fucking drains my energy and I need to reboot.

Hey, one man’s classy is another man’s tacky. Besides that, I mean, depending on decor, it really could work! To each his own.

god I know it, though I like to think of it as an ugly-friend situation, you don’t appreciate Cades Cove for its beauty until you pass through Daytona-Beach-in-the-Woods first or something.

Drive past those two and go to the Great Smoky Mountains National Park instead. If you want to have the Pigeon Forge experience, just go to Daytona Beach, man. (And yeah Gatlinburg can also piss off, but keep the Ole Smoky Distillery. It is worth protecting.)

That is some hardcore cognitive dissonance. Seems like it'd require a lot more energy to maintain than you'd think.

No please I beg you don’t send her here, can’t we just send her to like Nevada instead? In the middle of nowhere?

I think it’s still there tbh (yo, East TN represent)! But yeah, they keep adding more and more shit that I can’t keep track of everything. There’s ALWAYS a new restaurant. Always.

I’ve firmly believed that she’s a robot Smithfield Ham engineered. No proper Southerner eats Smithfield ham OR puts that much emphasis on the word “y’all”. They just don’t.

GodDAMNit. Though I shouldn’t be surprised, Pigeon Forge is a fucking tourist trap. (And yeah Dolly could totally take her. I got $5 on Ms. Parton.)

and may I just say THANK FUCK

So like an 80s version of Sex and the City, then.

Or Laura Ashley floral vomit EVERYWHERE. Maybe a potted plant or two (on a rare occasion half-dead to show how ~*~offbeat~*~ the heroine is).