“Just then, like any freelancing individual with a looming deadline, I thought to myself: how can I turn this into work?”

Slightly disappointed “Starnuts” didn’t make it into the shortlist. Would also accept “Magna Cum Latte”.

Sounds like the premise of a japanese porn.

Kotaku is by the far the best website out there for gaming news, hard hitting exposes, and weird fetish shit!

This sure is some next level shit for Kotaku. I like this direction. How are you going to top this, is what I’m wondering (or hoping). lol

It takes you two minutes?

I love how you assume it takes 10 minutes to jack off. Especially if a hot chick is doing the jacking, it'd take two, tops.

Good calculation! So why don’t we cut production costs? Don’t have milkers. Instead, have a naked women under a pane of oleo- and hydrophobic glass. Collect the semen on the edges. Get what, like, ten dudes off in ten minutes each. 60 dudes for the hour. Pay the model.

Production cost down to $15 (reduction of 87.5%),…

Yes, but if you sell it as a cum espresso (an espresso crema?) it’s only about 25 mL, so it’d only be $40 per cup.

Can’t wait for the hentai adaptation. 

An update for anyone who’s interested: I accidentally left Milk Maid’s house on Story Progression mode, which means she carried on living while I was off cooking up other Sims sex stories. Sadly, she died a while back, but now her descendants - all with the last name “Maid”, all with pasty white skin - continue to…

It’s a pretty good article and it must have broken my brain since I read your handle as “Milk Mee” and I thought the article is now attracting folks with very specific tastes... so to speak. 

Wow, and I thought the $57/cup that was being charged was outrageous...turns out it was an outrageous bargain.

I should probably warn you that Caleb Vatore, the vampire you hired, is heavily implied to be bi in the Vampires launch trailer, and he’s fully capable of going out in the sun and eating, unlike his neighbor Vlad. So he might sample the stock after all. At least he won’t umm ... drain the stock, since he has the Good…

That’s why you get guys who pay for the right to donate.

A standard coffee cup is about 150ml, and the average ejaculation volume is 3ml, so you’d need 50 men to produce a cup of semen. If you hired “milkers” who could get each dude off in about 10 minutes, it would take a little over 8 hours to produce one beverage. If you’re paying them NYC minimum wage ($15) this works…

But can you say for sure that your favorite café doesn’t have a sex dungeon?

the full spectrum of gaming

I feel your pain. I can’t sit through a video, but I’m a *very* fast reader. Seeing this in video form pretty much means that I’ll never watch it.

“brevity is the soul of wit”