Chavez threw a solid strike, if I recall correctly, besting the likes of Robert Mugabe and Hosni Mubarak during the Mets’ controversial International Dictators Week.

That’s not what I was expecting John Rocker’s kid to look like

In defeating the vile Dookies, Rocker threw the first no-hitter in Super Regionals history.

I *hate* the dialogue and “what-if”s surrounding this Finals.

I miss The President Show.

Maybe wait until lunch for that fifth cup of coffee?

I, for one, posit that the most Enterprising team won. 

Hey, it’s Enrico Putz-lazzo!

Even with the servile dermatologists and thrice-divorced yacht ghouls and buttery finance lordlings that crowd his social orbit and pay to belong to Trump’s clubs, there are still some latent traces of dirt under their fingernails—these people have to work to make the money to pay those dues, even if that work…

Roth, the next Deadcast should just be you reading this aloud in your best Francesa voice.

I’m going to preface this with saying I’m not in NY, and I’m not from NY, so I’m sure all the “NYC IS THE CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE” people are going to decry this take as “you’re not from there, so you can’t possibly understand,” but...

The real crime here is that the guy holding the flag had to pay a surcharge because he is only 24.  

Freedom isn’t free.

Never forget their sacrifice

This honors my nephew who did two tours of duty with Enterprise. Came back with lead in his finger from a broken pencil tip. He still wakes up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat from nightmares about large families demanding immediate upgrades. I do my part to honor them by being vigilant and reporting…

my great great grandaddy didn’t die at the alamo rent-a-car by the denver airport to see me kneel to that hated rebel insignia!

“In honor of all the brave men and women that don’t charge for minor dents and lingering smells.”

AND I’D SURELY STAND UP! NEXT TO YOU AND SAVE ON MY NEXT RENTAL.

Any sports editor worth their salt should have already commissioned this asshole’s obituary. He’s 35 now; it’ll be a miracle if he sees 40. He’s a menace to himself and others and it’ll be a blessed day if he doesn’t take anyone else down with him when he finally fucks off forever.

That story made me go give a big hug to one of my cats. He was sleeping and not particularly appreciative.