I could only think of this:

Or you could tell her that it is where you keep your gun locked up and that guns are for killing and you own that gun for shooting people dead. And that dead people are dead forever. Then you could teach her some actual gun safety in case she ever stumbles across your firearm.

Just riffing here.

You know the best way to avoid shit like this? Don't have guns.

I guess pray for the five year old who will carry this absolutely horrific tragedy with him for the rest of his life.

If only there'd been a good 5 year old with a gun to stop him.

I wish. Seize them all.

"The state will assemble a child fatality review board to determine whether the parents should be charged with a crime."

Whenever this happens* I always think about the kid who pulled the trigger. How do you deal with that as you grow older? (Or in the immediate aftermath AND as you grow older for older children.)

Yeah, servers DEFINITELY hate you.

This just in: Supreme Court Justices have opinions.

Just because people might not be able to eat out doesn't mean they shouldn't have just as much opportunity as anyone else to torment waitstaff!

"Throw some gravy on that sumbitch and sell it for six bucks!!!!!"

"They accuse me of being a terrible person, but won't elaborate about exactly what I've done. Well, sometimes they do, but it doesn't make sense, at least to me."

It's not even New Age or hipster!

Often by parents who don't even know the difference between "there" and "their".

This is bullshit. Call it whatever new-age hipster shit you want, these parents have the right idea. There is ZERO wrong with letting your kids walk home together, especially if the distance is short. That's how they learn independence. It's how they become more aware of their surroundings, and it's how they learn to…

Honestly, I'm less panicked over this than I am when I read about kids being "home-schooled."

Here's the logic—some people join groups that don't hinge the group's acceptance on physical appearance. For some women and men, it feels safer to be one of many and it takes bravery to be an individual. The groups I belong to don't care about my eyebrows or hair color or body fat. If they did, that would be…

On the other hand, my way of non-conforming is less expensive and leaves time to hit the books.