No, they don’t need new ideas. They can use the same ones they’ve always been using. They just need shinier packaging for the shit that they promote and maybe a clever hashtag.


And this is how America ends. At the hands of some guy who definitely popped the collar on his polo in his one semester at college. 

Yall I had to get my inhaler watching him and his wife publicly admit to not knowing how sex works. I’ve always maintained that his minions are people who last saw a vagina when they came out of one, and still have the same basic understanding as they did on that day. I just won so many internet arguments with these…

A lot more makes sense about him now, doesn’t it? 

If humming a tune is flirtatious I’m way sluttier than I thought i was 

there’s a lot of fucking white people in austin. 

I would like to ask him two things: how does AOC qualify as elite when she was a waitress/bartender before running for office? And also isn’t North Carolina coastal???

This can’t be a serious comment. 

My dad used to say that shit about sleeping when your dead. He died at work at 42. It almost destroyed my mom to lose him. If I could go back and time and burn every single financial self-help book before it touched his eyes I would. 

Something John Oliver said last week (I’m pretty sure it’s last week’s show) seems very relevant here. It was in reference to the loot and shoot tweet. But he commented that it is odd that this man can barely put together a full sentence until it comes to racist and then he becomes an encyclopedia of bigotry and…

My son doesn’t understand why being uncomfortable when you pee is something he should do. When he spoke to me about it, he was just like, sitting is more comfortable than standing. I’ve never had the option of standing so I don’t really have much in the way to offer on the subject but I am mildly envious of being able…

My son refuses to pee standing up unless we’re camping or something. He thinks it’s ridiculous because sitting is so much more comfortable. His dad tried to talk him out of it. I’m quite proud of my child for looking at his father like he was stupid when it was suggested that he should stand up. He simply asked “why…

You make me wish I wasn’t banned from it 

I just changed my WiFi to fuck the police 

Funny thing is, it was not a bible. It was a hymnal that they grabbed from the church. They forgot to bring a bible 

I’m starting to think that all those stories about lizard people might be true. It reminds of the white guy playing the Asian guy in breakfast at Tiffany’s. Like maybe he’s an alien and this is what he thinks humans act like. 

I can’t believe pony wasn’t on that list already. That’s just shoddy journalism ;-) 

Lol, I’m still so traumatized from what FFXI did to me that as much as actually do hate myself, it’s not quite enough to delve back into JRPGS

I didn’t know until I read this that it WAS a Tim Burton movie. Although that makes sense in terms of how dark it was compared to most of the PeeWee stuff. But it’s still one of my favorite childhood movies ever. 

Not necessarily, in Texas no one registers a party. You can vote in either primary, but you can’t vote in both. I know plenty of Trumpanzees that went to the Dem voting booth in order to keep Bernie or Warren out of the picture. 

Because it seems to be the case that to a large segment of the population, women are not people. Creep factor is only a factor if you’re one of those hysterical feminazis with blood coming out of your whatever.

I truly am just really, really sad that I’m going to have to hold my nose and vote for biden. I really wish…