Whatever the Democrats paid him to run a false flag campaign was worth every penny. My god, this couldn’t have gone any better.

Thanks for bringing up the movie that made me scared of spiders in the first place

AHHHH I can’t wait. Samantha Bee has become so damn vicious and I’m so here for it.

“Defended an accused child rapist, then laughed about his lenient sentence.”

I’m more of a #StarringToshiroMifune kind of guy. You know. If we can time travel.

...

According to family history, my aunt was a notoriously shy child to the point where she was often scolded for rudeness. I imagine Caroline has a similar situation. I was a shy kid too, who eventually learned how to hide it entirely (so now a lot of people seem surprised when I say I’m introverted—friendly and…

My birthday was Sunday and this shitshow has been a true gift.

me, sitting alone on my couch as thorne hears noises in the distance, whispering:

I scared my dog when I hollered at the TV when Wun Wun broke the fucking door down.

Frankly, I think 23 stars is pretty good -and I haven’t been trolled for being a naive idiot (yet anyways).

“People are cynical assholes who don’t care”

Where PEAK human achievement = being the *mostest* dead inside. and BRAGGING about it.
:(

I just woke up my girlfriend from laughing out loud at this.

That’s what he says causes his....ahem...lets be polite and say “mercurial nature”. An adrenaline disorder that causes mood swings and excitability. As I said, there’s a term for that: “manic depression”.

Ok, two things:

My cat after watching this video:

Courtney Stodden is my favorite trainwreck to follow. She’s so weirdly at peace being bizarre while trying to be sexy while trying to be a grownup.

Kris telling Kim, “You were married for 72 days, that was like normal!” is the best thing I have heard all week.