You really have to respect that Steven Tyler just wanders around like that. I mean, he's a walking choking hazard, but he's committed to his brand.

I was already just clinging to life with this comment. But “pet a cat backwards” produced this gem.

Please clap.

Caity Weaver is such a good writer. This interview is hilarious but also super unsettling.

He's hung like an elevator button.

The only thing separating him from the rest of them is funding. We need to set up VerminPAC asap. I hear Sheldon Adelson’s standards aren’t very high, we should be able to get a 100 mil or so as long as we promise “gambling, gambling, something, something...”

I’m not a scientist but I think that guy could make America great again.

“his top three issues are as valid as all the other GOP candidates.”

Typical Candy, always stirring up drama!

I didn’t really take a vacation — more of a bizarre work trip that I hope you’ll hear more about next week — but now that you mention it I wonder if there’s wine in the kitchen...

Don't worry-The part of Elena is played by Ronald Reagan.

literally wet rn.

“What kind of things do you like me to do with you body?” Jeb said as I looked over the contract. “Do you like it when I keep it from healthcare?” Oh my. My inner goddess screams YES but I blush.

VERY IMPORTANT UPDATE:

I’m not sure if this is the right spot for a review of “Making a Murderer”

You’re obviously this guys brother

It’s probably just a harmless sloth.
See the resemblance:

Calm down there, Satan.

Andie’s been in a bad mood since Lisa Edelstein stole her career.

White people who compare mild to moderate situations/annoyances to MLK’s struggle are the fucking worst.