Oh and I should add I got this joke in a comment section round these parts some time ago. So if I stole someone's joke.... deal with it. [sunglasses gif]

Mickey and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court. The judge leans over and asks Mickey, "So you think Minnie is crazy?" Mickey looks at the judge, shakes his head and says, "No, I said she's fucking Goofy!"

What do you call an empty bottle of Cheeze Whiz...

I lost my virginity to your cover of Papa Don't Preach.

ETA: Oh shit, you asked for a joke. I got nothing.

Hey Kelly! Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "You man the guns. I'll drive."

What's green and sings?

Elvis Parsley.

That's pretty hot though, no?

"I'm releasing another album."

You know, Kelly, your dad's music really touches my soul.

"I call my haircut the 'Blizzard of Oz'"

Kelly: I just remembered, I have a stupid tattoo on my head

But seriously, no. It's just you've never seen a roll of toilet paper next to a urinal have you? If you don't shake properly you run the risk of leaving a small drop on the tip. Just the tip mind you! That small drip when applied to a very non-absorbent material (like swim trunks) will expand exponentially when the…

Totally! Sometimes it's like a sweaty beer can on a hot summer day.

I know, the first rule of Piss Dribble...

YOU ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK ABOUT THE DRIBBLE!

Wait, WHAT inevitable piss dribble stain? Men constantly dribble pee?

I used to work in a scuba diving shop in Hawaii and I would wear tightie whities under my trunks all the time. But only because I wasn't actually going in the water—just working in the shop. I wanted to A) Hide boners B) Avoid the inevitable piss dribble stain when wearing non-cotton C) Chafing, ugh! But I would NOT…

GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD.

"I remember my first, most intense dry humping session," writes Kaylee, wistfully staring out the train window. "I was the ripe old age of 18, at a Midwest college town house party, tucked in a back room with the musicians and their instruments, until one by one, they left me and the guitarist I had come with. We…