"Hey honey, I'm going outside to mow the roof. Bring me a brewski when you have a sec."

Vanilla Ice has ruled. It's not the same.

This may have changed since I took my license test 20+ years ago, but in my state, failure to stop for a school bus with red flashers results in on-the-spot immediate suspension of your license for 60 days, 5 points on your license and a fine.

Never go full Robert Smith...

Gwenyth Paltrow's great grandmom's head?

Yes, but it VERY clearly stated on the box something about a hefty restocking fee (likely because this phone is a steaming pile of poo), which I am not inclined to pay.

Damn it Butters, where were you when my wife was buying this "phone"! :)

Well, the one my wife got herself doesn't. She goes days w/o charging, with light use. I use my phone even less (MAYBE 1x a day), and I have to charge it pretty much all the time, at least that's how it seems.

T-Mobile Prism. Mrs. Blackhound thought it would be a good idea to go get us smartphones one day. Ho boy.

"Spalding! Get your foot off the Sphinx!"

Flash to whenever: Apple registers the trademark "Uslan Bolt", and pitches the technology as "The gold medal standard of charging your devices, magically!"

Shenanigans?!

Keep on the look out for the primary suspect...

Simple Jack, you say?

I though Rip Tide was Kristen Saban's nickname...

I've watched three minutes of this thing and I've come to two conclusions:

A few counter-points, if I may:

At long last I can finally re-create my favorite comedic pseudo commercial!

"Only about ten percent of the 8 million people who live in the United Arab Emirates, one of the world's wealthiest nations, are actually Emirati citizens; the rest are Western expats or Asian, African and Middle Eastern guest workers."

This is the only "Looper" I will recognize...