Most Likely To Fail Upward

You lose your right to request anything when you get knocked the fuck out in 13 seconds.

The best players tell you beforehand what they’re going to do to you and they back it up. Curry is going to back it up. Westbrook will mean mug and lose.

Lighten up, Francis.

It will be for everyone soon enough

When a trainload of ugly Brits is ragging on your bald head, what can you do but laugh about it. Alcohol is a wonderful drug.

You guys found something more depressing than Drew Magary’s twitter feed.

That’s what Cincinnati gets for having Pacman Jones on its team. Burfict too. Their play does not exceed their idiocy.

That’s not riding shotgun in Ireland. That’s the driver’s side. Sorry to ruin your pun.

Never turn your back to a guy with platinum blonde hair and full sleeve tattoos. For more reasons than one.

Bill Belichick proposed Pylon Cam to the rules committee. Think they’ll give him credit?

Or the reaction of a guy who just lost his life savings in :13

There is no conduit to victory, of any kind, in Philadelphia.

Someone needs to inform Dusty’s ignorant old ass that the fastest players in the league are white. Sorry Dusty, but racism is a two way street.

When the alternative is watching NBA basketball, On Golden Pond would even be a wise choice.

The only way this could be more stereotypical is if they were a whackin’ a potato around instead of a ball while sucking down pints of Guinness during timeouts.