Short zombie got felt up at :02. And went back for more.

I don’t understand what’s going on here. So, the fake Twitter account had the real scoop before the real Twitter account?

I saw a ghost boy when I was 9. They are real. You’re not imagining it.

Pardon the fat, old, bald man for his rudeness. He thought it was a ring ding.

I don’t see what all the fuss is about. Will Smith is in this movie. Can’t possibly be a good omen.

I don’t get what the big deal was about his “hair.” It didn’t look that bad. Lebron should try it.

Not as funny and this:

Masturbating to Schindler’s list in his SS uniform like every weekend, of course.

This statement is so the NFL.

The thing about one’s being stupid is that one is too stupid to know that one is stupid.

No. No, I do not like that.

How ‘bout dem Cowboys?!

As a Pats fan: I have no defense for this one.

It’s obvious that Kaepernick needs to be traded to a team that will allow him to run first and throw second. Buffalo seems like a perfect fit. The only fit.

Amirite?

That little orange Eli Manning shirt-wearer with little man syndrome is no Ronnie Pickering.

I was thinking the over/under on comments to this story would be 6 1/2. I took the under. I lost. Surprisingly.

I can’t wait until they just legalize sports gambling and stick a dagger in fantasy sports. Claiming that predicting multiple players’ success each week takes more skill than predicting the winner of one game is so overtly ludicrous that it makes me want to slap an ignorant politician (hyperbole).

They look like they just caught a glimpse of Ronnie Pickering.