I deleted my Facebook account five years ago. Wish I’d gotten paid to, but since time is money, I think I’ve done all right. Also, it’s left me more time for online porn, which is what the goddamn internet was really meant for.

Japanese holdouts? This is my shocked face.

Officially, Google Home only responds to “Hey Google” and “Okay Google.”

Seriously.

First they give us Bill Cosby, now this. Temple University should just be shut down.

Speaking of Nazis…

Fire departments used to have a “solution” to this kind of thing.

Just little.

Technically, anything’s a sex toy if you want it to be.

I bought a :CueCat.

They’re going to rename the city Pholesadelphia.

They’re going to rename the city Pholesadelphia.

It’s some kind of sign sticking out of the ground.

I’m wondering how anyone is supposed to take Miller seriously ever again.

This is one of those times I’m glad I’m way too old to social mediate.

I’m old enough to remember the Osmonds. :(

#BeBest

If you require a watch for its technical purpose—to tell the time—phones make it redundant.