You’re acting like I’m reaching into the toilet and splashing around everything that’s in there. I wipe my ass and leave. I don’t stand up, squish my cheeks together (WITH EVERYTHING IN THERE) and then attempt to wipe.

YES. FIGHT ME.

JFC DON’T FUCKING STAND TO WIPE. WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. HE DESERVED WHAT HE GOT.

He got up. And knocked the linesman down.

I’m up here in Quebec all like:

Just a friendly warning: you will have to watch almost 90 seconds of girl’s high school basketball - filmed in portrait - before anything meaningful happens.

I BET YOU’RE A BLAST AT PARTIES.

Stupid. Just stupid.

Excavator be like:

He’s a shape shifter. The only thing he can’t change is his voice and his delusions of grandeur.

Bob Ryan is our greatest living American, and I will brook no dissent on this.

Detroit does not really support a pro football team.

At least now we can tell them apart.

I like this guy.

Ever since they were peers in elementary school, Weeden has been waiting for an opportunity to get the upper hand on Jones.

This play was Too Short for that.

Oh, from the headline, I thought that he’d legally adopted Avril and paid his tuition at an exclusive Christian high school.

My God...this Kinja.....

I’m almost as impressed that Kuechly was there the whole way. But you’d have to be insane to draw up a jumpball between Julio and anyone and expect a different outcome.

I went with my brother. We got there early, had some bad ass seats. I saw a dude with his date come in late. They were about to split up. My bro and I got up and gave them our seats.....because why not?