UPDATE: The water park has decided to let it slide

>we don’t WANT a system where there are 13 candidates and everyone ends up with 5-11% of the vote.

Just goes to show that it’s all bs. Politics is nothing but interactive theater.

Best part about this is that the Knicks are going to resign Derrick Rose, keep Carmelo Anthony, have a zen-master-less Porzingis, and still only win 30 games. I hate this team.

I still can’t believe Pritchard took these two over Randall, Clarkson and a pick.

Someone should tell Magic little digs like this is how Phil Jackson started out......

I’m just glad that Lonzo is being set up for success. Managing expectations, giving him time to develop and no pressure what so ever to produce immediate results. This is how a star is born!!!

Man, no one ever calls me on the Deadspin Party Line anymore.

He’s under contract for the 2018-17 season and has a team option for the 2018-19 season.

Here’s another stat to remember. Only about 5% of gun owners belong to the NRA. Because the NRA is a fucking evil institution that represents fucking irresponsible assholes and not responsible gun owners.

Not only can you join them, you’ve just been named the starting pitcher for Friday.

Kelly Olynyk looks like the kid from Dazed and Confused took HGH.

These are the worst John Lennon parody lyrics ever.

I think it’s worth a shot! Andrew Jackson knows what to do.

I agree with you, but I’ve never seen people go from zero to “they never had it so good as they did when they were slaves” faster than in Mississippi. Like, after one beer.

No couple REALLY cues up an episode of Real Sex to get in the mood.