Nope. Sorry.

Please send Dwight Howard just to discourage him from procreating.

Don’t see the point of mentioning a marijuana arrest that got tossed for lack of probable cause.

Oh, we know

That Enes Kanter trade and max contract could look subtly brilliant despite people losing their shit over his defensive shortcomings

The Brooklyn management is rebuilding itself in the Spurs image, so I’d be surprised.

Can’t wait for the NBPA’s take on this via text message screenshot.

The finest Caps fans that Va Tech, JMU, and the bars of Arlington can produce.

“Do you want to watch more Phil Simms?”

Not surprising that he has only one walk and zero runs, though.

Sure, Correa didn’t get in the way of the skied through

So the selection show is just a two hour long infomercial and those reaction shots aren’t real?!

I wonder what Spoelstra was saying about his wife

This majestic plural—by my count deployed 23 times in “we,” “us,” and “our” form in Kristof’s 900-word column—is a neat bit of rhetorical gerrymandering, dispersing wild diversities of power and reach and journalistic dereliction into one flat, blank edifice:

That was a terrible jump ball.

Jarrett Stoll’s bail money.

Sliding into the car to avoid physical contact and then continuing away from the scene? He’s taking over for Peyton already!

Holy shit I’m so confused.

He traveled.