Hold on, let me go get my Secretary of State trading cards and check her stats.

Just go with this, Brandon:

It appears that the Talk N Text Texters are also plenty capable of Talking.

Kind of shocking that Danny Ferry brought down a majority owner instead of the minority owner.

Add another one to the list of “something other than sports”

Likewise do not fill your bathtub(s) with water, “just in case,” unless you live in the real-deal sticks.

Well that explains him being one of the few speedy white QBs.

Plus another month for Keith Law for good measure.

The 12th Man would be at his bedside at the hospital.

Ummmm...fuck this. This isn’t about DC drivers, it’s about the fact that the roads were a goddamn slip and slide on Wednesday. I don’t care if you’re from the fucking North Pole, you were not going to be out there driving like Michael Andretti just because you somehow have more snow toughness.

Good god, stick to words with two or fewer syllables.

Agreed. Truly horrible stuff.

Not the first time LeBron has been on the ass end of a Trainwreck.

I was hoping the game would never end...because they’d keep showing unnecessary slow-mo replays of Bethel basically tackling Janis on Rodgers’ pass to him from the endzone.

“‘Friends hang sometimes, banners hang forever’ - Kobe Bryant”

Well, it’s gonna be hard for him to stuff himself in a mailbox...

It seems like your family has a lot of penis problems.

This is a real bad sign for the rest of my life, but I totally agree with him.

Dumb of Jones to react...

“Ummm, not defenseless, so not against the rules”