If only you were a woman.

I’ve screened for smart and interesting before the first date. The first outing for me is about seeing how many alarms he trips. How much is he just racing into bed? Is he petty? Generous? Curious? How much does he only want to talk about himself or his problems? I’m looking for my future husband, so I’m looking for…

a) Yes, that’s what I mean.

b) ...I think you know you’re being disingenuous. I don’t mean that by won. I mean ‘proven they have an interest in me as a human being and demonstrated that they want the best for me’. As to the women you ask out, I can’t speak to them. Maybe you like dominating the conversation. Maybe…

The way I’m treated is so dependent upon my weight. I’m 5'5". I’ve been 200lbs and I honestly could’ve pulled off a heist then, for how unacknowledged I was. My weight determines how quickly cars stop for me at intersections, how demeaning the language is when men hit on me. I’m 10+ over my skinniest right now, and I…

Canadians call them thongs occasionally too...but they flip-flop about it.

YSL Touche Eclat Le Teint. Available at department stores and Sephoras, it’s light, it’s comfortable, and works like a damn, especially considering how sensitive my skin is. The concealer is better for undereye circles than blemishes, but the foundation? It has such great flow during application. I try to pick it up…

YSL Touche Eclat Le Teint. Available at department stores and Sephoras, it’s light, it’s comfortable, and works like…

Oh please, if Diane Keaton’d been told to improvise her entire part the movie would have been the exact same, she wasn’t even in costumes.

Oh, she could very well have felt empowered. But the act of participating in that film literally reduced her power to land roles and develop her career.

It better have felt empowering at the time.

*sigh* I miss him. Tywin did almost nothing for me in the books, but Charles Dance made him vital as hell.

I had a dream where I was on holiday with my friend in Las Vegas (weird in and of itself, I hate Vegas) and I hooked up with Steve Martin. He took me back to his hotel room and kept working on his screenplay while I blew him and was a completely unenthusiastic lay. Then my ex called the next day while Steve Martin was…

No doubt she’s pleased with her boob job now. :)

NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO!

*weeps, tries not to get tearstains on Hamilton tickets*

I think Taylor told Calvin some bullshit line about how the flirting was just symptomatic of the breakup, some nonsense about how ‘This is because our relationship isn’t healthy, it’s not the *reason* why it’s not healthy’ and then kablammo, they’re making out on some rocks.

Square-jawed, tatted, pierced, green-eyed, not-Canadian Scots.

Clean Bandit feat. Louisa Johnson, ‘Tears’. Yes, it’s from a contest show. But more importantly, it’s the best goddamn danceable breakup song in a decade.

Watch UK House of Cards instead! Shorter, sharper, and more realistic (the kind of scheming that the lead does makes WAYYYY more sense in the parliamentary system).

It was possible for a woman to be too childlike for Roman Polanski? Really?

Yikes.

I found a psychiatrist who’s not going to put me on medication (important to me) but who is covered by my MSP! I cried my way through a super vulnerable first session, and we’ll see whether or not he chooses to help me or refer me elsewhere at the end of my next.

I’m anxious. My best friend from college is getting married and an old flame of mine is also invited to the wedding. Not for a couple more months yet, of course, but there’s a wee bit of dread.