Do birds have chins?

Please stop faxing me and trying to find out my real identity (I’m Jonathan Taylor Thomas) because I’ll (Jonathan Taylor Thomas) never ever tell you (that I’m actually Jonathan Taylor Thomas, voice of the lion king and son of Tool Time).

Very mad!

Welcome to the lacrosse field, rookie. Rules are simple. 74 men in mesh shorts try to capture your egg with their nets. Any questions? No? Good. Just go sign up with Montana and Breshley at the Bud Light Lime stage and they’ll give you the organic pecan oil you’ll need for your uniform.

the children seem to respond favorably (by weeping) to ted cruz blogs, so yes, sure.

i got a tattoo of Ryan Tannehill and now i’m a laughingstock

There is a big market out there for parents who believe their children should suffer just a little bit on their birthdays. Would you considering opening yourselves up to that market by being rented out individually or as a team for “Live Blogging Experiences” at children’s birthday parties?

I was doing a sarcasm. I love Chicago very much.

I am sorry about the sick doggos. Also, this is very good advice. Just found out my cat has diabetes, which wasn’t a thing I even thought was a possible thing to ever have to worry about!

How amazing it must be, living in a coastal city. In Chicago, where there is nothing and your only friend is the demonic avatar of winter riding a fixed gear bicycle, you’re lucky if you find an old broken acoustic guitar lying in a trash heap somewhere so you can pluck tuneless melodies next to a space heater until…

“The role of such associations is to foster athletic competition that is fair and serves the well-being of student-athletes.”

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL (BAT) AND MASH ME A TATER

there is a universe where Friends, The Leftovers, The Office, and maybe, like, some pieces of The Edge of Tomorrow crossover into one story and it’s a good universe please stay away from it

I thought tennis was the one where two men wearing crotchless wet suits stand on opposite sides of a 47 foot long tube and try to blow a cockroach, which has been placed inside the tube, through the length of the tube and into their opponent’s mouth, but hey you learn something every single day here on the web.

CSI: Miami will be elected president and there’s nothing you can do about it. the CBS voting bloc is too powerful. Abandon your homesteads and seek out for the frontier where at least you might have some hope of bludgeoning enough predators and scrounging enough root vegetables to survive a few more winters before the…

the accounting spec is op this patch imo

In my virtual kingdoms I’ve put in countless hours to fully gear out my characters. My overwatch gorilla has the finest jackets and hats. My fallout character lives in a beautiful, sprawling city that I custom designed. He even has a stable 401k. I am married to a hulking, horned demon in another game. In the real…

Finally our reefs are safe and healthy

ok but where’s the article about his incredible grip strength you filthy millennial?

finally someone will defend my right to wear underwear that is just one very long pasta noodle wrapped about my mids (midsection)