I deep fried a towel, once, wrapped a pita & a slice of American cheese around it & gave it to my manager. It was payback for earlier that day when he said he had to hide his boner cuz I was eating a popsicle

1). That photo makes me so damn happy I might make it my desktop wallpaper,

Not all dickhead scientists!! JESUS, PINKHAM

...But do they cause autism, though?

This... is neither fun nor happiness.

"...from this dish on she would just start crying any time a dish came to the table."

Goddamn it, my money was on particle board! Thanks for nothing, Taco Bell.

That makes sense. I hated the whole "we could tell something was odd and we talked about it" but there was nothing they could do. I understand there are rules for these kinds of things but damn. It breaks my heart.

It's just so incredibly sad that I wish there had been something that could've been done to help, you know? Your aunt & SO sound like really good people.

From the article: "They didn't misbehave. They didn't cry out. They didn't run around. They didn't make a fuss," said Schwab, who emphasized the shelter is required by law to report abuse or suspected abuse.

Wow I haven't seen the word "butt" so much in a post since chritter's last butt-date. Thank you, Burt. :)

Lickin' batteries is where it's at, man! Was, I mean....

EDIBLE FLYPAPER LMAO I almost choked on my coffee.

OMG HAPPY BIRTHDAY BURT YOU ARE THE REASON I HAVE BEEN MAINLINING BURT REYNOLDS FILMS FOR THE PAST LIKE TWO YEARS I LOVE YOU AND I ESPECIALLY LIKED SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT when he takes his hat off... Hehe! Rawr.

Not to mention that for a hot minute after the VMAs if you typed "Miley Cyrus" into Google the first autofill suggestion was "Miley Cyrus racist". Maybe she doesn't Google herself, either...?

He IS flatchested! And Blink 182 sucks! They haven't had a hit song since Boulevard of Broken Dreams! BOOOO.

I will be working Thanksgiving! Except I'm in the airline biz, not retail. So I'll be babysitting the warehouse since I'm sure most of our customers have the day off...

Ooo, I got a "your racist" reply to one of my FB posts, once (It was a story about how I said something like "You should probably tone it down because you're the only white person in here right now" to a guy who was explaining the pros of racial profiling).

Aw, cute! I'd reciprocate the sentiment but I'd really rather you just stop.

Racism, you're doing it right. A+, little buddy.