One day he may get a funeral of his own, but not today!

Former Hill staffer here...

I’m sorry. That sounds awful. Here’s a thing to make you laugh:

So not technically an apartment, but now-Mr. BallOfStress and I, along with my male bff and a random guy from out school we met off of Craigslist (back in the day)...It was a truly great house, in a sketchy neighborhood, but the price was right. We ignored the fact that the landlord was obviously a few cards short of…

The Santa Clause is my all-time favorite. I’ve watched that movie so.many.times and enjoy it every time.

Did anyone else catch the Trump cake episode? I literally fell off the couch laughing. The baker really captured the essence of his soul. Nailed it!

Help?

If someone is sleeping next to a man, aren’t they already sleeping next to a dog?

Do I get ungrayed for being featured?

yeah i have $2 in my savings account right now, i don’t know what world CNBC is living in but it sounds like a nice one

Ocasio-Cortez has $7,000 in savings...experts recommend she have between $8,750 and $30,000 put away for a crisis

Oh, god.

So my wife and I text animal noises to each other all the time - most frequently “meow” or some variation. Multiple animal noises usually signal we are especially excited about something.

A few years ago, when my wife and I were newlyweds, we watched some show or something that used the phrase “suck-worthy.”

I’m a severe over texter.  Recently dated a guy who I really liked but kind of blew me off - I was so guilty of so many dumb texts that totally made me look desparate.  So then I’d stop and he’d circle back after awhile.  Now I’m dating someone who texts me every day and I feel SO MUCH MORE SECURE.  I don’t even blow…

I own a dog walking buisness and one time my client canceled a walk via text and then shortly after sent another text saying: “ugh skipped work today cuz I spent all last night drinking wine and fucking. So hungover.". Obviously meant for a close friend not the dog walker. She was mortified. 

Accidentally texted, “Hey, what’s up” to a fairly recent(at the time) serious ex when I meant to text the name above his (back on my old brick Samsung when you had to scroll through your contacts). This directly led to us hanging out again and getting back together and dating another 2 years after that... Ugh :-|

Right after I gave birth to my son, my mom took a picture that included my naked, right titty, and texted it to our entire family. Does that count?

I knew I was Old when, on my birthday earlier this month, I was genuinely thrilled to receive new fluffy slippers and a mystery novel.

I’m just so grateful to see a Netflix movie that FINALLY reflects my own personal experience.