Okay, I’ll be that person. Neville Longbottom was a Gryffindor, not a Hufflepuff.

Is Jennifer going to build a centre for these ants?

pete has a deathly hallows tattoo - he can do anything!

Haha okay now that I have slept I realize it wasn’t maybe not the BEST comparison, but you only ever hear “telly” from Brits so it sort of conveys the specific accent it gives my name and makes it seem much less abrupt.

I can bet you after a few weeks of homeless people spending most of their time there, because places like Starbucks are seen as safe locations that they won’t get robbed, beat or raped, their will be a * to the policy in some form or the other.

...all of whom pronounced my name like it rhymed with “telly”...

Great, Bob!

“Division is a dangerous thing.”

Came for this. Thank you.

I’m for them!

Creating a phony name would’ve defeated the entire purpose of the bit.

And as said by Lindsay Maureen, he’s a public figure, and ripe for mockery.

Also, Michael B. Jordan should be making more bank in any role he takes post Black Panther. He should have been doing that before as well, but definitely post Marvel movie should see that salary bump.

Wow, Variety. Who is Harisson Ford? Someone I might know from roles like Indiana Jonnes or Han Sollo?  

He is invited to the wedding, though.

“A hundred. And Twenty. THOUSAND DOLLARS.”

But how will Martha ever rediscover her lost childhood innocence?

How much is her leather jockstrap valued at? Should I bother, or is John Oliver going to run up the bidding again and leave me disappointed?