No reason to carp about it.

I think I would have gone to a Trump business for the kitsch factor, maybe. I mean, not after his first campaign speech, where he revealed himself to be either a racist or a demagogue who cynically exploits racism. But before that, I might have. If I had a groupon or something.

Does Trump still have a casino anywhere? Because if he does, I'd like pull an Ocean's 11-style heist. Maybe the other places we rob could be Sheldon Adelson's.

Good thing that people now believe in modern medicine and science even when it might be somewhat counterintuitive.

Because you didn't get accepted?

Removal by the 25th amendment is just not going to happen. If a majority of Trump's (shitty) cabinet wants him out, which is very unlikely, he can challenge it, and then it requires 2/3 of the house and 2/3 of the senate to remove him. Impeachment requires 2/3 of the senate, but only half of the house, so declaring…

On the other hand, Clinton could also be really boring and long-winded. At the 1988 Democratic Convention he got a huge burst of applause when he said "In conclusion…"

Supposedly, his wife pressured him into pursuing the presidency when all he wanted was to be on the high court.

It took me a minute to realize you were talking about the Supreme Court and not the bathtub thing. I was thinking, "Man, Dik must really assume Obama's going to let himself go now that he's out of the public eye!"

And unlike Trump, he didn't continue to try to run the country while incapacitated.

Sort of. The word already meant a bond or guarantee, but he expanded it to be a synonym for "certainty."

The "men use half as many words as women thing" has been going around for a long time, but isn't true. Not to say that the two genders don't tend to use different communication styles.

A famous example of how inspiring the Anglo-Saxon vocabulary can be is Churchill's "We will fight on the beaches" speech. The most famous bit contains only one Latin-derived word, which is "surrender." It's a very eloquent use of some of our language's simplest words.

I was reluctant to make the joke because it's played out and not really funny anymore, but in the end I decided I kind of had to.

i didn't know that one of the turtles was Asian.

God damn it. I only came here to make an "all-female Ninja Turtles reboot" joke, and I got beaten to it.

Sort of like congressional inquiries.

I've mentioned this on here before, but Andy Dick kicked out my friend's windshield one night when they were heading to a party or something (they'd randomly met at a bar). Dick's assistant or whatever took down his information and promised he'd be paid back for it, but nobody ever contacted him.

I thought everyone in Canada all went to the same high school.

My parents went to high school with a guy named James Bond. He grew up to be basically the town drunk, and when he'd get arrested the local paper would use the opportunity to make 007 jokes in the headline of the police report.