I've had my iPod since 2009 and I'm dreading the day it finally craps out. It's made worse by the fact that new iPhones don't work with the auxiliary USB thingie in my car.

I never cared for it myself. But I learned to deal with it. He's a good chef, but not a great human being.

In dystopian future, kettle calls *you* black!

Upvoted for making it easy to figure out who you're parodying without completely spelling it out for us.

I think I thought that too.

Maybe if Trump actually knew what the fuck he was talking about.

The best chef I ever worked with would throw pans and scream at his staff so loud that guests could hear him on the restaurant floor, but then as soon as service was over, he'd be saying, "So where are we all going tonight? I'll get the first round." He also was oddly respectful of me because I told him to fuck off on…

Oh, great job, internet! GREAT FUCKING JOB, YOU STUPID DONKEY!

I know that Michaels always hated corpsing in SNL's early days, but one of the funniest sketches in the show's history was in the first or second season when Candace Bergen completely lost it and Gilda Radner just carried on and made it so much funnier. Totally hilarious. http://www.nbc.com/saturday…

You used to troll better. I don't think your heart is really in it anymore. Maybe you need a vacation or something.

Hopefully the next time he's in Florida he gets hit by a speedboat.

Oh, the yumanity!

A.A. Dowd, sr.,sr?

They also like to mention the Arab slave trade, which has very little to do with people who ended up slaves in the New World, but whatever.

I like 19th century political cartoons where you have Uncle Sam and John Bull milking a cow while a man holding a rooster is saying, "Oh, this is a d___d disgrace!" and off in the distance there's someone dressed like a jester throwing eggs at a lion with a human face. And it's about tariffs, somehow.

Why do we all slavishly follow whoever begins the thread?

Hopefully next time you won't be Russian to make a pun.

What I meant was that if government didn't recognize marriage per se, but still had some sort of mechanism where you could say, "This person/these people is/are my next of kin, with all the rights that entails" I'd be all right with that. In other words, marriage, more or less. But of course there's no reason to…

Whatever you say, buddy.

But now we just think of Belgium as quaint.