There are a lot of similarities between Jackson and Trump. If not for our better health care and living standards, Melania may very well have been embarrassed to death just like Rachel Jackson.

An "underwear on the outside" executive order is in the pipeline.

If someone asked Trump if he's all about the Benjamins, he'd probably use the opportunity to reiterate his support for Israel.

He's handled large stacks of twenties numerous times over the course of his career. You think he used to bribe building inspectors, cops and local officials with a check?

To be fair, people who are dumb enough to believe Paltrow's shit might have a tough time negotiating the internet. Of course, they mostly have assistants to do that sort of thing for them.

It's almost enough to make you shoot the jade egg out of your vagina.

Wheel of Scheindlin

This is definitely true. It seems that in 1920 there was an almost universal consensus that we ought to just hand the country over to the most rapacious capitalist bastards we could find.

Weird electoral situation? Harding got got 60% of the vote to Cox's 34%. That's still the largest popular vote margin in history. He carried every state outside of the south plus Tennessee. He was a crap president, and he seems to have been elected for no discernible reason, but it was definitely a solid victory.

Worse yet, he's not out either.

Remember, when you sleep with someone, you're sleeping with everyone they've ever slept with, so that means that, in a sense, you've been with as many as fifty people.

I guess they didn't watch the episodes, or they'd know how much it sucks in federal prison, even when it's minimum security.

I was thinking I could embarrass some people by putting up nine Facebook friends that I've slept with and one I just really want to.

Oh, hush hush.

Your mom and dad opened for Bob Dylan?

I don't think it was a scam, per se. I assume that I had in fact bought myself a hotel room, just probably the shittiest one there, and with a ton of restrictions.

I doubt they'd want the ham sandwiches, either.

I bought an old Volvo from an acquaintance for like 1200 bucks. I was paying him in installments and it broke down (and stayed broken down) when I was only a few hundred in. For some reason, I paid him the rest, although I didn't really rush to do so.

I paid a few hundred bucks for one of those "unbelievable vacation deals" in Miami. It was like, "pay now and you can stay at the Ramada any time in the next two years." I have no idea if they would have actually given me the room nights, because I never actually made it to Miami. I have no idea why I thought this was…

Come to think of it, nobody ever heard of Trump until around the time Kaufman "died." Hmmmm…