"It's Jar-Jar, not Va-Jar-Jar!"

Worst senator since Jim Bunning.

"Don't worry. It'll pass."

Yousa fake news!

Not Donald Trump. He just said yesterday that he's the least racist person.

I would never have the balls to make a pun that bad. You're a better man than I.

I had a girl do that to me. I mean, she wasn't engaged to the guy, but my ex invited me to her birthday party, and I thought maybe she wanted to get back together, and I spent the whole week or two leading up to it imagining how awesome our reconciliation was going to be, and then when I get there the only person at…

My general rule is that if I don't understand an initiative I just vote no. That way I'm voting to maintain the status quo.

I have no idea. I've never listened to more of that album than I've had to.

Does FIFA count as a corporation?

"All I said was that this blowjob is good enough for Jehovah!"

*Quivers*

I hate it when someone has perfectly good grounds to sue and they have to ruin it with idiocy like that out of body shit. People seem to have a tendency to go overboard when describing their mental anguish. A couple of hundred harassing phone calls and texts is plenty.

If only Triple H had tried a little harder, we might not have had a Nixon administration.

CHIMNEY FLUES

Y'know, Napoleon was actually average height for his time. It's actually kind of sad that your teacher repeated a 200 year old urban legend in class.

The Confederates won in 1876.

You know how I know I'm a nerd? I recognized that photo as being Carl Schurz right away, that's how.

What really pushes my buttons is when West Virginians fly the rebel flag. YOUR STATE ONLY FUCKING EXISTS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO BE PART OF THE CONFEDERACY, YOU DUNCES!!!

Constitutionally, Texas actually has one of the least powerful governors in the entire country. The job is largely ceremonial and actual decisions are made by the Lieutenant Governor, Comptroller, Railroad Commissioner, etc. People saying, "He ran the second-biggest state in the union," to justify electing Bush (or…