He liked Leno, but I'm sure his dream pick for Tonight Show host would be Billy Crystal.

Too bad that wasn't the Janet Jackson one.

I thought a good chunk might be liberal, just because they tend to fall into the lower rungs of the economic ladder. (The idea that poor whites are overwhelmingly conservative is a longstanding myth that's largely based on classism.) But I also figured that many if not most would be pretty apolitical.

Good lord. What the fuck is that? The Evil Baby Cephalopods? The Kuatos? The Vampire Fetuses?

I don't like football, so for a couple of weeks every winter, when I have to hear about it constantly, I feel like I'm in Super Bowl 'ell.

So at least they were based on the reality of the time.

Sports logos of the nineties and early 2000's are generally the worst in history to date. Everything tries to look tough and mean. If you had a team called the Woodchucks, the mascot on the logo would be an angry woodchuck grimacing and flexing his big, beefy woodchuck arms. There would just be no awareness of the…

I realize that it means 40, but Super Bowl XL sounds like the name of a special, bigger Super Bowl that they put on sometimes.

Shit, I make more than that, and my knees aren't going to go for at least a few more years.

I believe that Poochie was the league MVP.

I'll bet it being Dick Ebersol's baby really did not help Michaels' attitude towards the XFL.

I'm pretty sure that most wrestling fans are either conservative or don't give a shit about politics, but can the ones who aren't maybe organize a boycott of WWE? The McMahons are just so reprehensible.

"Working for the party. Keeps a few reichmarks in my pocket."

I'm pretty sure sucking cock has always been cool. I know that any time I've had mine sucked, I've thought, "Cool!"

I'm not saying that the fact that he's religious is good. I'm just saying that, unlike Trump, he has actual beliefs of some kind.

It's the most kids at any event ever. Period.

I have a really hard time convincing people that the fact that I don't want kids doesn't mean I hate them. Everyone is genuinely surprised when I'm enjoying myself around someone's kid. Even my best friend thought it would be hilarious to see my discomfort when he first handed me his newborn and was shocked that I…

There are huge differences between Gibson and Trump. For example Gibson is talented, has produced things of value, has successfully directed large numbers of people towards a common goal, and has legitimate, deeply felt religious beliefs. Good lord, I'm starting to wish we'd elected Mel Gibson president.

This could be a pretty good exploration of what drives cops to violence. But it will probably be a shitty fascist apologetic.

That "Moscow on the Hudson" scene is schmaltzy in all the right ways. Got me a little choked up when everyone said, "Happiness" in their native languages.