I feel like if I just had a little more knowledge of the expanded universe I could do a really good Star Wars version of the "If Vishnu himself came down" line.

That might be due more to a lack of opportunities. Not a lot of kids work as roadies at metal shows every week.

Balut is metal?

A Ukrainian guy I used to work with went off on me when I said something about the Nazis being beaten by the weather on the Eastern Front. He kept pointing out that the Soviets were outside in the weather too, and maybe give some credit to them instead of the damn cold.

And very few women in high positions.

Now I'm waiting for the newswire about a no-longer relevant rapper speaking out against Black Lives Matter. Unfortunately, I don't know enough about rap to think of who that person could plausibly be.

Metal and Catholicism have a lot in common. They're both obsessed with blood, cannibalism and gratuitous Latin, for starters.

He also thought that it wasn't a good idea to travel when Mars was in Pisces or some such shit. The man was a moron.

Satan's been really insufferable ever since he read Atlas Shrugged.

Yeah, this article makes me feel better about never giving a shit about Slayer.

He's one of America's last true swing voters. He even lives in Florida.

"Like him or not he's the president." Because metal has long been known for its respect for authority.

I think a lot of them like the old standards. You know- "homo," "bitch", a certain word starting with the letter n…

"Put that lightsaber down. Lightsabers are for closers."

Tiffany is the only person in Trump's inner circle that I can see leaking damaging information about him after deciding that he's just gone too far.

Oh great, now you tell me.

"Hey everybody! We're all gonna get laid!"

Grabapussy.

Sadly, no. It was really more like half a blowjob. We are talking about high school here.

As long as you're an Alpha.