'Murica!!!

Lemme get your full name and SSN and let's call up the DHS and finish up this I-9…

*on PA system* "Will Jose Peterson please report to the front desk?"

Comparable to the mystical kind that Robin Williams describes in "The Fisher King" and you get to talk to all the little people?

I vant to suck your breas…crap, it's only 5:15?!?

At least it ain't Chipolte!!

Considering I have three roommates, and I finally broke down and bought the $5 economy pack of toilet paper (Angel Soft, 12 pack, thank you very much. Anyone else buys it it might as well be restaurant/gas station grade from Sysco…just sayin') last week Wednesday and we have successfully wiped through four rolls as…

If your parents are young enough, you can still have another!!

It's a rough life, but someone has to live it.

I read that as "…getting sucked on a kibbutz". Too much innuendo going on here. Almost makes me wonder if they confused the gift bags for the AVN and the Oscars? Stranger things…

Perhaps that's why that $275 roll of toilet paper is included.

BULLSHIT

He's tired of being a "featured" cast member? I mean, hasn't it been long enough and when is he gonna be a star?

Come on, can't you at least gimme a -Spoiler Alert-? Too Soon!!

Yes, but this is the INTERNET!! Nothing ever goes away!! I actually was reading a review for one of the ST:TNG where the comments were pre-WTF-a-Discus is and came across a comment from my pre-Discus avatar and nearly crapped myself.

This reminds me of the canned air from Spaceballs, but my favorite thing in this line of "stupid stuff that people will of course buy" belongs to those geniuses who, during major solar eclipses, are smart enough to can up the darkness…and then sell it on the shelf before the eclipse even happens. That, my friends, is…

Potato, Potatoe.

I'll buy that!!

Such an odd, great movie that I'm sure that I'll watch again at some point, but seeing as how I was still together with my psycho gf in late 2007 when we watched it together, I'm actually wondering now if she wasn't trying to soften the blow that the next several months were going to be difficult to say the least. I…

Perhaps it's the angry side of me, but I was hoping that you had a story about how you took out a random mugger with that mirror. Teeth flying everywhere.