Sorry, we were too fuckin’ busy defeating Hitler to strike everyone out!

Shouldn’t a truly immaculate inning be when all 3 batters are pregnant when they head back to the dugout?

It’s called cursive. People actually used to write that way all the time. It was even taught to children in school, in the past.

Maybe he misunderstood when they asked him to come into the box.

He’s never been IN the black either.

I hate the fact that I have been reduced to appealing to the morality and conscience of Republican congressmen

Reminds me of that old Hedberg joke: This is what my friend said to me; he said “You know what I like? Mashed potatoes.” It’s like, “Dude. you gotta give me time to guess.”

I didn’t understand a word of this article and then I watched the video and my god, that was insane.

Of course he won! The butler keeps putting the ball back on the table in the same exact fuckin’ spot!

Folks, this is what happens when you demand Deadspin stick to sports.

Since when do writers get to jot down a bunch of questions that have easily-obtainable answers in a piece of finished journalism?

Alternate headline: Rich guy gets $10M tax deduction to discover how other rich guys get their tax deductions.

Want to know how many police officers are employed in various parts of the country and compare that against crime rates? Want to know how much revenue is brought in from parking tickets and the cost to collect? Want to know what percentage of Americans suffer from diagnosed depression and how much the government…

I challenge you, for your own sanity, to care less about deep cleaning. If it’s not going to make you sick, dirty everything you have, or embarrass you in a meaningful way, try to leave it be for a little while. I live with two large dogs. It’s the season where they are constantly tracking mud into the house. It…

No Pats fan here, but the suspension was objectively crap.

When will these cops stop talking about trivial issues like sports, and get back to the important work of shooting minorities over traffic allegations and then defending their comrades as using justified force?

You are the sorest winners God ever created, and last night will make you even worse. It’s a lock.

I didn’t say that people don’t have the right to criticize. You’re overlooking the part where the joke carried no actual offense. The onus of responsibility for being offended falls on the person getting unreasonably upset about an inocuous joke told on a joke-telling show.

Recently Bill Maher did a stand-up roast of Trump (getting it out of the way before it’s a capital offense to insult Herr Drumpf) in a very liberal neighborhood and someone heckled him for saying “If Hillary Clinton isn’t lesbian she definitely should be one at this point”, preambling it with how the three leading men…