You know he had someone take his SATs for him, right? To make sure he got the whopping 400 each on reading and math.

I’m glad the sea turtle/baby whale/tuna/flounder/ fuckingthing wasn’t dead/dying/in serious fucking trouble after all. Holy shit!

The Vikings may have a job opening for you

I've met Ragnar, and you, sir, are no Ragnat.

The car is full of refs ready to call a foul on anyone who gets near Harden

He wasn’t gonna get off the ice until he finished the shift.

Genius

Whoopidie doo! Bad strike call trend eliminated! Thanks, crazy eyed asshole. Umps will now obey that pitch trax thing.

Yeah- remember the kidz with tape over their earlobes because they had just gotten a piercing they couldn't take out yet? I remember. The tape hurt when I took it off.

What does that mean? Like in terms of baseball. ‘We can’t get out of our own way, so we should...’ ?

Burnnnnn in obscurity

That Player’s Tribune thing has been a lot better at breaking news and giving real looks into athletes’ lives than I thought it would be, especially with Yeah Jeets at the helm.

Takes guts to try on a Monday

His goddamn subway ads when he's won nothing are a bit much, to your point

“Plenty of people tell me that being forcibly sent down a trail that will be fraught with tears isn’t so bad.”

That's some spooky action

Fitting out

Just LOLd

Sounds like you’re talking about Gawker’s editorial choices

FWIW, d’Arnaud was having an all star caliber month or so until [whatever exactly is wrong with him] happened. And they maybe thought their franchise player would, ya know, play. I totally get that they want to keep their pitching hoarded away like halloween candy, hoping that something else gets better on its own.…