Vandal Savage.

We have searched every square inch of these checkout lines, and all we have found is...

Strange women lyin’ in ponds distributin’ swords is no basis for a YA book or Netflix series.

This looks like the work of rowdy Teenage Wildlife.

That slide looks fuckin’ sick. I’d love to ride it, but some stupid wiener kid had to lose his head and ruin it for the rest of us.

His American accent was ‘orrible, especially in Twin Peaks, where he used an outrageous southern accent.

I like that episode of Victorious where he gets a lap dance from Victoria Justice, Ariana Grande, and Liz Gillies. Man, that shit was hot.

They should get Mexico’s top actors, Louis CK and Lupita Nyong’o, to play Montezuma and La Malinche.

There should be an old man who fondly recalls the ‘80s:

I guess you could say that explanation was a bit... wan.

Slag off!

Take a hike, Kojak!

That dying, sickly girl sure looks, uh, healthy:

No worries, I’ll just go to my favorite sex club, Sex Cauldron.

What a crushing blow for Fiat Chrysler.

Science, uh, finds a way.

“Despite all his rage, Billy Corgan has matured with age”. Better title. Are you even trying, Title Guy?

Spending warm summer days indoors

Sam Barsanti’s livin’ in the past, man! He’s hung up on some clown from the sixties, man!