Nice try, Gal, you’re still an IDF dog.

“That is some outfit, Lobot. It makes you look like a homosexual.”

He’s also reputedly a very generous tipper.

“Female”? That’s an odd name. I’d have called it “Sheila”.

He was in that Michael Moore documentary about gun violence. His comments about the Columbine shooters were dumb. Remember when 13 killed was considered high? Now it’s just another Tuesday.

Thoughts and prayers with this young actress. And the people of Sutherland Springs.

This is the worst Dreyfuss affair of all time.

If I wanted a disgusting pizza, I’d go to Little Caeser’s. 5 dollars for a Hot n Ready pizza. PJ’s pies cost much more, and the quality is just as terrible.

I guess you could say she was... Under Siege. If she’s going Out for Justice, she has some recourse. He may be Hard to Kill, but he’s not Above the Law. Executive Decision.

What’s wrong with being sexy?

No more DNAInfo Chicago? Where will I find racist, locally sourced comment threads now?

Their remake of “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” will be called “20, 000 Foot Nightmare”, about an absurdly long security line at the airport. The hideous troll will be a TSA agent.

And go shave that thing! You look like a damn Hungarian!

Randy Quaid is still the best LBJ. He wouldn’t need no damn makeup to play him. But he would need a shave. And a haircut. And a shower. And some meds.

I’d rather see Ted Cruz’s porn stash.

“Visual effects”? Is he hiring Andy Serkis to motion capture the sexual assaults?

Brian Williams was with him at La Choy and Chun King. They saw his best friend’s head explode at Margaret Cho.

Semen is not hard to swallow, Sean. Ask your mom.

Harry Hole? What’s the killers name, Tom Frost? Get it, Frost T. the Snowman? 

Lock. Him. Up.