“...when it progresses to people drinking the scotch trickling out of a butthole and being hospitalized.”

“10 runs in the first inning? Not great, not terrible.”

Good for you for growing as a person. Jameela Jamil approves.

Just so I’m clear, the “steps to discourage” the chop that the Braves had allegedly previously implemented included:

The Braves fans shouldn’t have an issue with this as they’re already used to saying the n word only when POC aren’t around.

Making an half-hearted agreement for the benefit of Native Americans only to renege on major parts of it? It’s the American Way. 

I’m just saying, I don’t remember California bordering Mexico before OBAMA became president!

I know the liberal PC police SJWswill attack me here, but I personally won’t vote for a candidate who refuses to do something about California bordering Mexico. That shit is just unacceptable. Make Ohio do it.

Markus Not Many, my man, my dude, let me lay it out for you, a governor can actually address two issues at once. Addressing NCAA player pay, does not exclude him from “figuring out homelessness.” Just like you can both manage to coach men’s basketball, and find time to make galaxy brain political takes. 

The golden age of shitting the bed at every conceivable turn? What a time to be alive, Tottenham supporters!

Sports talk guy: This Jets fool better have a steel spleen.

For the sake of his sister’s health, let’s hope the Jets don’t tie on Sunday.

Did you know Jimmy Garoppolo once played with Tom Brady in New England? I know, it’s crazy - the media never talks endlessly about this.

I think Bosa’s attitude had less to do with old college grudges than with the well known fact he just hates the browns. 

Listen, we had our chance to contract the Twins back around 2002. All they’ve done since is go 2-19 in the Playoffs- almost entirely against the Yankees.

Since this is obviously a made up story, in order to make it easier for everyone else to separate fact from fiction here, I’ve taken the liberty of going through the entire article and highlighting the things that are obviously make believe so readers coming after me can focus on the aspects of the article that may be…

Shocking that the owner of a sports team in 2019 with a racial slur for a nickname would do something shitty. To a white guy, I mean.

Kind of unprofessional not to do it first thing in the morning, and instead wait until he was two hours into eating tape.

They didn’t do a very good job; the place looks to be in a fen way.

It’s like looking for a black person in the Trump White House; or in Foxborough.