He was born in Georgia but he’s been coming to Florida for the races since he was seven. “Me and my daddy used to drive down here with a big white styrofoam cooler full of beer,” Clark said. “My job was to hand him the beers while he was driving on the way to the dog races.”

As a native Oklahoman, I can’t tell if the last line is a joke or not

I saw ROUGH in the graphic and got my hopes up that there’s be another Rough Riders franchise.

Unfortunately the work was done by people employed by Bud Adams in 1960.

Can’t wait to cheer for the Imagine Dragons.

But what will the Vipers be called during the second half of the season when they are playing in Montreal?

I’m 94% certain these logos are all “create a franchise” options on Madden ‘12.

I dunno, Barry, that Vipers logo looks like something I doodled on the brown paper bag cover of my third grade math textbook, which, as I’m sure you know, means it’s rad as hell.

“They forget you've gotta win," said the Cleveland Browns quarterback.

So the Yankees are just going to mime giving a giant a handjob for the rest of the season?

This is just like my dad and me, only instead of hitting home runs for large sums of money, I’m an emotionally distant borderline alcoholic who can’t communicate a lifetime full of disappointment with a disengaged, functionally absentee parent. So cool!

Both residents blame the turkey vulture invasion on their elderly neighbor, who they claim dumps hundreds of pounds of dog food in her yard every week for the vultures and other wildlife to feed on.

His advice: Get a federal permit to kill one of the vultures, then hang it in a tree or other spot where other vultures can see it for miles around.

With this one conversation Lamar Jackson is now a closer friend than any other member of Rodgers’ family.

Longs, Ranked:

And my frequent flyer miles. 

For the remainder of the preseason, Nagy will make Long barf on the exact same spot of the field until he gets it right.

We’ve all had the “Would you fight/box against Mike Tyson for a million dollars?” argument in a pub or at lunch break, or the “Would you take a punch from Mike Tyson for a million” variant, which is essentially the same really, since I’m pretty sure Iron Mike in his prime would have put me into next week with one good…

You are clearly disrupting the green tea and wellness spaces. Where can I send my bitcoin to invest?

And my squeaky hammer.