I swear I didn’t mean to buy that Subaru! It was an accident!

Neil do you get paid by the word? A simple “in the garbage” would’ve sufficed. Brevity, my friend, BREVITY!

Those Houston Oilers are unstoppable! They haven’t lost a game since December of 96, a record unbeaten streak! That young Jeff Fisher sure is going places, huh? No more 7-9 and 8-8 seasons for the Houston Oilers I’ll tell you what....

Donald Brashear is already cowering in fear at the thought of MacSorely on defense.

JOKE ABOUT HOW THE BENGALS DIDN’T SIGN HUNT FIRST

THANKS OBAMA

Grillmaster Kirk Cousins also took notes and can't wait to pair this "queso" with one of his signature "steaks".

“I would kill to remember this game...wait....what are we talking about...?” - Aaron Hernandez

I absolutely would rather watch a Chiefs-Saints Super Bowl consolation game than whatever the shitshow we got tonight was.

Did you even see Kryglfiv Slbndrytz last night? Smdh what are the Spurs doing....

Here for the Baby Shark truther takes

Lauren: Hey Roth, what about this guy Doug?

I heard their strength coach was using “Browns Develop Serious Muscle” as a training mantra.

Apparently “Ron Mexico” was already taken so it’s anybody’s guess...

Roth: “uhhh....yeah...I think Oddish had a couple of good years for the Reds in the mid 90s..."

Let’s Remember Some Pokemon Guys

“Magic Mike 'Nuke the Gays' Priefer"

That is a perfectly normal hairstyle. Move on, Billy, find a new slant.

They’re already AFC South finalists!

Really a missed opportunity for Arsenal. If they'd only scored more goals than Liverpool they surely would've won.