They didn’t throw any picks either though!

The offensive line statistically played worse than Peterman.

I’ll give you $100 if he’s ever even heard of Anne Frank

Not going to happen. This is not a man who know anything at all about books that aren’t about him.

Ok, all I need is for him to say that The Diary of Anne Frank is a work of fiction and I’ll win Dipshit Bingo.

Professional sports leagues should not play cop. The professionals are bad enough as it is. 

“these were 3,000 incredible people. We never will let this happen again.”

I’d be interested to know the percentage overlap of people who believe Kaepernick is “disrespecting the flag” but also believe there’s nothing wrong with flying/using the confederate flag. Also the percentage of those people named Cletus, Keith, or something-Bob.

Let’s check in on Matt Patricia making breakfast this morning:

Found Mark Davis’ burner account. 

I thought that the other Gruden coached the Redskins.

they can’t make the Indians give him back, that would be offensive

No, it’s where you throw the duvet cover over your wife’s head, and fart.

“Personal foul. Roughing the passer. #23. Glancing contact with the quarterback’s aura. 15 yard penalty. Automatic First Down.”

I know how that feels. Yesterday I thought I had already taken the last step down the stairs... but there was one stair left.

Undefeated! I’ll take it!

I’m calling it now: The Browns are going 0-0-16 this season. 

Hey babe don’t forget the preparation h Alexa send text

“The only thing you should drop behind you as you’re about to cross a line is a 25-year-old student-athlete coordinator.”

At some point is he going to even pretend to run the country?