I love the “...most important event of YOUR life” guy. What, are his kids 4 days old? By the time they’re teenagers they’ve done more important (and interesting) things than come out of a vagina.

We might be neighbors.  Is it also full of helpless women who need somebody to come over to trim the hedges or kill a (harmless) snake?

Here’s the dictionary definition of the word pedant (emphasis mine):

If you want a depressing lesson in baseball pedantry go look at the Twitter replies bitching about the use of the word “beanball.”

The Braves should drill the best Marlins player, but they don't have one. 

You’ll get more love when this gets cross-posted to Deadspin.

That’s peak dadding.

Ideally, that would make sense.  But like Drew said, once you’re on the road you want to get to There.  If I stop I’m gonna have to pass the same assholes I passed an hour ago.

Subject: YOU SOUND LIKE A JERK

Except I don’t remember any of them.

May 16, 1998. It’s my wedding day at West Point. My parents and brother are going to the Yankees game the following day, and ask if we want to go. They’re playing the sorry-ass Twins and my new bride and I had to get back to Virginia to prep for our honeymoon so I declined. I get home to find out David Wells has…

+1 Barbarosa

I will never not watch this clip.  Now I’m gonna watch it again.  My wife didn’t want to watch this movie, so I had her watch this scene.  She told me to rewind to the beginning.

Buying a car is, like, 2000% easier than it was 20 years ago. Find the car you want, and then use one (or several) of the websites that will give you the true market value (i.e. what others are paying for that car) of that vehicle. Better yet, most employers offer car buying programs. Show up at the dealer with the…

I can’t star this enough.

Look what he did to Jerry Jones, https://deadspin.com/stormy-danielss-lawyer-once-handed-jerry-jones-his-own-1824058935! He’s good.

So we can finally stop asking, “Where’s Barry?”

Domino’s is far and away better pizza than the doughy, lifeless garbage from Pizza Hut (I didn’t say objectively “good,” but “better”). And the app makes the experience better and easier than calling my local delivery joint. When I call the latter, the first question is usually, “Can you hold?” Sure. And until…

This, right here, is the problem with the Winter Games. Luge is fun for, like, 5 minutes. But unless there’s a spectacular crash every run looks the same. When the margin of victory is hundredths of a second, how the fuck am I supposed to appreciate the effort?

Tell them, and get help. My wife suffers from depression and PTSD (childhood trauma) and has been in therapy for years. She’s incredibly self-aware of her feelings and I’ve learned how to spot signs when she gets depressive. I’ve never judged her, and I zero tolerance for anyone who does. She’s been able to work…