Ooh, so close, but sorry, we were looking for “very fine people on both sides...”

Watched a youtube video recently about how season firsthand where the Charges once missed the playoffs while having the #1 offense and #1 defense in the league. It was incredibly depressing.

“Some people are fans of the Los Angeles Chargers.”

I had wondered where Biden had gone from that list....

The Cowboys are “America’s Team” in that we have a president who suggested we nuke hurricanes. That is the Cowboys.

I know exactly how Andrew Luck feels. I mean, I don’t have a degree from Stanford or a bunch of athletic ability or millions of dollars or a super-high IQ. But I have been booed by people in Indianapolis. And my boss does a lot of drugs.

See, that’s just not fair. Maps have big words like “Azerbaijan” and “Djibouti” and “Uzbekistan” and “Greenland” that are probably all made-up places and don’t actually exist anyway. You can’t expect poor Donnie to thread that maze. He can’t even spell “hamburger” and that’s literally printed on the pieces of paper…

We call that “small dick energy.”

Trump is that kid in high school who constantly told everyone else how big his dick was, but refused to shower during team sports for fear of being found out as a fraud (note: I’m not judging anyone’s genitals here, I’m coming to a point about braggarts); he’s transparently insecure, and tries to fight that insecurity…

The Poop Standard Selection Committee (me) has taken your point under advisement and determined it does not dole out participation trophies.

Three Super Bowls in 10 seasons (with three different QBs!) at a time when the NFC East was a phenomenal division (except for the Cardinals) is an incredible feat. And, yeah, 1992 was a long time ago. But you’d still have to double the length of that journey and add another eight years to get to the Lions’ little pit…

I’m not typically one to cast aspersions on people I don’t know, but if Dan Dakich’s family member is dealing with chronic work-related injuries, has earned $100 million in the last seven years, and has a degree in architectural design from Stanford, then he’s an idiot for continuing to show up every day at the steel…

So true.  The way those Indy fans booed him was truly disgusting. 

The dude’s gonna go watch all the European soccer he can handle this fall. 

If there was a young man in literally any other profession who made $100 million before he was 30 and decided to retire, he would be lauded. The Wall Street Journal would write thousands of words of wankery praising his acumen and smarts and god bless America.

I hope that NFL players take note of the lack of empathy people have shown Andrew Luck during this entire process. Don’t feel guilty about hold-outs for more money. Get as much money as you can and get the hell out before it becomes a detriment to your health. 

I hate it when I have to chase those obnoxious, belligerent, remorseful drunks down in the parking lot and drag them kicking and screaming back to my bed.

they saw this and he was still acquitted. jurors are trash, straight up trash

To co-opt a Bette Davis quote: “Mother always said to speak good of the dead. David Koch is dead. Good.”