And despite your corporate overlords telling you to stick to sports, I hope Deadspin never does because

and I can’t emphasize this enough

I come to Deadspin BECAUSE YOU DON’T JUST STICK TO SPORTS

This headline and entire article were written by Mad Libs.

Deplorable.

Very nice of them to go shirts and skins to tell them apart in that video apparently taken with a toaster. My kingdom for a pixel.

Looks like Peterson finally learned not to go for the switch.

He puts his body in the way and you contribute by scorning his language choices?

Well, of course! The guy who was mercilessly raping children and threatening to destroy the careers of anyone who got in his way was white a clean cut throwback to days of old!  

So they draw the line on tee shirts but not rampant child abuse? 

Wow, you can always count on the Fraternal Order of the Police to object to any steps to hold police accountable.

It’s not like this is the first time American Assholes overplayed their hand...

But what about the yacht companies???  Won’t someone think of them????????

What kills me is there are so many people who identify with the BILLIONAIRES in the billionaires vs. everyone else scenario. They envision the government coming in and taking whatever huge percentage on their $50k/year salary and are suddenly like, OH NO PROTECT THE BILLIONAIRES! What is the quote, they are all…

Poor fucker probably missed a 43-yard field goal in practice.

I haven’t been this mad at Cousins since Grandpa died without a will.

Sir, this is an Arby’s.”

I STUBBED MY TOE! ARREST THE WALL! BUILD A WALL TO KEEP THE WALL OUT!

WHERE IS MY DIET COKE AND FRIED CHICKEN BREAKFAST GODDAMN IT I HIT THE FUCKING DIET COKE BUTTON THREE TIMES THIS IS TREASON

November 2, 2016: Cubs win World Series, upsetting the delicate equilibrium of the universe, opening up a portal to the Upside Down - a world that looks just like our own, but contains homicidal monsters and everything is covered in a layer of viscous slime.

As the resident Cardinals fan at this Chicago office, I made bacon and pancakes for everyone this morning on the office griddle. I figured after the Cardinals spent all weekend fucking the Cubs, I should at least cook them breakfast.