Goddamn it....here, take your freaking star.

100% the same, complete with long, drawn-out LD eeeeehhhhhhmaybeyougetbeyonce at the end.

Holy fuck that is an obscure* reference.

I read this in Morgan Freeman’s voice, FYI.

Anyone else as annoyed as I was that he kept referring to an automatic transmission Ford Focus as an “Auto Focus”.

And the women flock like the salmon of Capistrano.

Her misuse of the word irrelevant made that exchange a bit confusing at first.

“Marcie’s crush on Charlie Brown went unrequited.”

Ah, the ole “No True Yankee Fan” fallacy.

Absolut over Stoli. mkay.......

#posehndiditfirst

Guy got what was coming to him. Signed, a Giants fan.

Excuse me sir. Seeing as how the VP is such a VIP, shouldn’t we keep the PC on the QT, because if it leaks to the VC, you could end up an MIA, and then we’d all be put on KP.

Came here to say this.

+1 so hard.

Am I a dick for being more impressed by the Oxford comma reference than by the actual wound?

From Robert's Wiki:

Who controls your Stadium cost?Who keeps those spygate tapes lost?We do, we do!

Just an FYI the Head gloves have pretty terrible accuracy on a touch screen when trying to precisely navigate your phone. They are very warm and comfortable though.

Just an FYI the Head gloves have pretty terrible accuracy on a touch screen when trying to precisely navigate your…

NSFW tag for peeing Rangers fan would be appreciated!