Don't forget Shad Khan, he's about to be indicted on fraud charges for claiming that the Jacksonville Jaguars are a professional football team

When asked why he was doing 5 mph in a 40 mph zone, Kosar said he was trying to escape the pressure.

The alternative is to eat his salary as he watches the remaining games from a stadium suite...

Third Base Sadness Brigade

...what were you saying? I got distracted.

Cool fantasy story.

sht up

It means Cecil Fielder was fat, thus would be difficult to pitch around were it necessary.

Hey, in Ryan's defense, it's not like he has any real nickels or dimes.

I don't think everyone in the country has directTV.

Whatever. Just last night, Tony La Russa had six deviations over the median.

A place where you can watch all the Eagles games and share comments with like-minded people. What's not to like?

Will he be joining ESPN's NFL pregame show this fall too?

The irony here is that I usually turn to Jared when I'm trying to improve the relationship between me and my woman.

No Game Gear until game day? But how else will the time pass on those road trips?

You, sir, are about to bring the rage of the entire Jalopnik community down upon you. Best of luck :P

Ice Cream Cones!!! OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD!!!11!!1!

I like your list, though I'd move Cinnamon Toast Crunch to the #1 spot. Lucky Charms are awesome because: Marshmallows - but after you eat the marshmallows, the cereal itself is kind of bland. CTC is delicious with each bite!

Trix is bullshit now since they are just round circles and not the fruit shaped. If they were still fruit shaped then they would be acceptable on your list. Please insert cookie crisp in its place. Thank you and have a great day.