The Lakers are one of the NBA's marquee franchises. By sole virtue of their glamorous location (including local media considerably less nasty than that found in the league's other tier-1 global city), they should be one of the league's best teams every single year. It's hard to screw this up...and yet, here we are.…

I think you answered your own question.

"I'm ready to settle down" within what sounds like the first half hour of the date? No. Absolutely not. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200. Get your ass home.

I believe it was Tina Fey who said: "Helen Mirren is not proof that there are parts for older women, Helen Mirren is proof that there are parts for Helen Mirren."

Dearest Russell,

THANK YOU SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER?

This is the single move I swear more NFLers are capable of, but none use. This really isn't hard to do - if you train for it.

On vacation, I tend to eat rich, delicious meals—an enjoyable part of the whole experience. However, the stress of travel combined with this dietary shift can wreak havok on my hair-trigger guts.

Complete conjecture, but:

Damn straight all around. B&Bs are just the worst.

So....any B&B, then.

I did this once, and I'll never do it again. Typically, they cost more than a hotel, but you get less freedom. If I'm on vacation, it's a safe bet that I'll want to go out to a concert, then a bar, and then get back to my hotel so I can smoke weed - even though the signs say you can't. (You can. You can. Any hotel…

More like bed-and-bitchfest amirite lol

They're bad, Barry.

Why did the helmet rape and kill your family? Be careful its superior the boot is hiding very near.

The Allies also concreted over and hid the exact location of the bunker Hitler spent his last days in (we know where it is now, but it is inaccessible). They didn't want it to be turned into a shrine.

It's quite common in Germany for military installations to have been closed up and the entrances cemented over after the war. The next street over has an cemented-over entrance to the bomb shelter under my neighborhood, which was closed after the war.

A healthy contingent of people complain about how long a game of Monopoly takes to play. These people make up one or more of the following groups. Listed in the order of game sinfulness:

1) A group of people ignorant to what inflating the cash base of players does to the game's strategy and the time a game takes to…