Do you also serve water and wheat thins at your party?

If you prefer straight guac to salsa as a chip dip, I would recommend you consult your doctor and then the local authorities because someone stole your taste buds.

Really, everyone? I mean, guacamole is good, but just that on a tortilla chip? Guac as PART of a seven layer dip? FUCK YES.

I kinda have to agree. I mean, I want to be embalmed in sriracha, but for wings, it's not the right application.

[carries bomb to bathroom]

Pico is fine, but hummus tastes like what I imagine Roger Goodell's ball sweat tastes like. Fuck hummus.

Yup. Carlin's routine about antibacterial soaps getting adults sicker is pretty spot-on, but especially for young kids. Exposure to the bacteria, viruses and allergens of thwe world is necessary. Expensive as fuck if they get sick (and they will), even with insurance, but necessary.

If the joke is at the victim's expense, you're right.

THIS is how a pun is done.

I'm OK with anyone shaming Sallie Mae for any reason, really.