Spoken just like a douchebag biker who’s gonna end up in the ER someday due to his own stupidity.

“What do you think of Brandon Weeden’s leadership skills as opposed to Tony Romo?

I have really weird body dimensions when it comes to finding dress shirts that fit properly and I would rock the fuck out of a dress shirt onesie.

“Whenever we get Ben and Jerry’s or Häagen Dazs, my girlfriend takes three (sometimes four) weeks to eat hers. At what point am I justified in eating the rest? I say one week.”

I honestly have no idea what you’re on about at this point (and I feel you’re in the same boat).

Did you, ostensibly a grown-ass human, really just “no, u” me?

I get the feeling there’s a lot you think you get.

Nothing when it’s followed by “but that’s why I wouldn’t put them together.”

Do you think professional porn stars are retarded?

Uh, all the snacks are wrapped and none of the sex accountremants are used yet.

Maybe you should be actually be teaching instead of asking the internet to shoulder part of your workload. That’s a thought.

Yeah, but Kink’s stuff is generally 30+ min. and they police the uploading of it pretty (and impressively) seriously.

It depends. In NJ? Maybe.

I will never get tired of that gif.

*Googles Roxxxy*

Uber: Find Out Why Your Mom Was Right About Getting Into Cars With Strangers!

Also, just like there are people who would be great drummers that have no passion for music or people who would be excellent mathematicians who don’t want to work in the sciences, there’s gotta be a number of people who could be great quarterbacks who just have no interest in playing.

Yep, I heard he’s #2 as well.

I was gonna say. Hasn’t Ralphie May’s Jon Gruden Impression been on the chopping block for like two years now?

I’ll tell you this. If the punishment and fix for being a child molester is baling hay for a few weeks and talking about Jesus, I need to get in on this Jesus thing. I’ll talk the FUCK out of some Jesus and bale some hay to rob a bank.