Washington Field is where reigning League Most Good Player Bryce Harper slaps base circlers and Max Scherzer makes aces of opposing stick wavers. Its next to the basketball ring where professional sphere hurler John Wall excites us with athlete gyrations and accumulates scores and helps.

The all-caps are a nice touch from Iceland’s very own Drew Magarysson

Never forget:

If you don't vote for doormat salesman, fuck you.

Doormat salesman!? I mean, you have to really know people to convince them to buy a doormat....

Fuck geese. Goose is a trash bird. I hope it dies next time.

Rocky ended the Cold War. Are you saying Ali wasn’t the boxer Rocky was?

Yellow jackets are not bees. They are wasps. Bees are good. Wasps are bad. WASPs are also bad.

How in the world are hornets so far up this list? They are at least as bad as Horse Flies, and what the fuck did a Cave Cricket ever do to you?

Lets not overthink this; the point was for somebody who did not want to pay for the game to get a free copy of the game. Nothing else to see here.

I feel like a lot of commentators here are missing the indicators of why this joke was aimed entirely at making fun of himself.

Look at what the wife actually says, guys. She’s worried about his safety, she has a headache, she brings up reasonable refutations of his points, she gently tells him that they just can’t…

If Theo leaves, who’s going to take over the duties of carrying the ball full speed into the corner and then losing it?

Wouldn’t the funniest result be just to reverse the 2004 Series? So the Red Sox get the epic comeback, and just when they think they’ll finally break the curse, LOL NOPE

Rams over Patriots in 2001 for similar reasons (but also Tom Brady and, y’know, holy justice).

How is Dan Gilbert’s fart machine not the lede here, Kevin?

Yes, I know. It’s called a “sunk cost”. And my comment was obviously a joke and one poking fun at me thinking it’s a “free game” even though I already paid for it, hence the “born out of my own stupidity” section. Jesus...

I’m crying like a JRPG fan on prom night

I’m laughably terrible at keeping track of, and following, campaigns that I’ve backed on Kickstarter. So, it’s always a pleasant surprise when a game seems familiar, the article says it was KS’d, and I find that I actually backed it. It’s like a free game (born out of my own stupidity)!

Though, in my defense, this game…

I assume when you say “bad faceoff guy” you mean Castor Troy.