So, you’re basically a monster. You would get out of a shower, ostensibly a clean person covered in clean water, and dry yourself off with a clean towel and then throw that towel into a pile to be washed with more clean water? You grew up with housekeepers? Maybe you lived in the Ritz?

Beyond the TYPE of towel, there’s also the spousal discussion of how to fold said towels. UGH.

It seems to me that our ultimate ‘no gloryboys’ organization, the organization that the NFL so closely wants to partner with and mirror, goes to great lengths to highlight achievement and glory of the individual. I'm fully on board with players adding all sorts of glory-flair to their jerseys. They should be too.

The worst generic food is cream cheese. Non-Philadelphia is inedible shoe rubber.

Says a lot about “gamers” in general when you right something like that and instead of people agreeing with you, they attack you. Hilarious. We’ve gotten so used to stupidity and assholes that saying you don’t want to be one is some how ridiculed.

Bae: Another settlement needs your help.

Conspiracy theorists still claim that the real dog is a sandwich.

Jabronis, ranked:

“Johnson ... stands eighth and ninth on the league’s all-time leaderboard in receptions and yards.”

A David Carr fellowship? I’m worried that he’ll end up getting sacked rather quickly.

They should visit the uk where there is a nandos for every 460 people. Cheeky

Ironically he spends most of his time criticizing this Arsenal team on TV.

“Do you think guys like Abramovich or John Henry or the Glazers would go this long, seeing the same problems year after year after year without doing SOMETHING?"

YOU MEAN IT WASN’T HOTTER THAN WHEN THE DINOSAURS ROAMED THE EARTH?!?!

Sure. Graduating from Wellesley, getting a law degree from Yale, becoming the first female partner in the third oldest law firm in the United States, becoming a Senator of the United States, being Secretary of State of the United States, writing five books, mounting a serious but failed effort to bring universal…

I love this idea that Trump’s candidacy represents how “sick and tired” people are of the “lying” and “manipulating.” It’s not. It represents exactly how so many liars and manipulators get to Washington. It represents how many people in this country are complete fucking idiots who will lap up any bullshit a candidate…

Wayne Gretzky is in fact alive today.

I liked it when you could be born into a helmet and raised by shoulder pads. When boys grew up inside of footballs and then ripped out of the footballs and started throwing footballs through concrete as soon as they emerged. I liked it when people used to get married to whistles during kickoff and they would buy a…

Infowars!? Oh. You should’ve started with “I’m a crazy person who is off my meds”– it would’ve us all a lot of time.

Who in this country understands the Constition better than lawyers?