I bought a fake wife for many of the same reasons.

Makes sense. The Phillies were actually in need of someone to make fans nuts.

Well, at least it was a deer and not a person who died in state custody this time.

WHO WANTS TO FEDEX MOTUMBO

Well, I’ll boycott the Holiday Bowl either way, just to be safe.

I liked the pre-Carter “Ye Olde Waverly Inn.” A sleepy, homey, good meal, with a comfortable New England vibe, not a trendy see-and-be-seen hotspot.

Gogol is definitely superior to both of them. *spontaneously combusts due to hotness of take*

One is a pinnacle of artistic achievement in my opinion; the other is a movie where Buster Keaton did a really intricate stunt.

Louisville has stripper poles

How coincidental, Triple H will be our bond rating after the Trump Presidency.

Noah looks like someone stuck a Q-tip down the shower drain at the YMCA and then raised it in England.

Oh man. There are so many good songs to sing about Ahnold, Lord of Sun Valley. He is almost universally regarded by everyone who lives there as a dick of the highest order, which is saying something considering that the place has counted buttholes like Dick Fuld and Clint Eastwood among its residents.

I’m glad Temple’s former head coach is heading to Baylor but sad that coach wasn’t John Chaney.

Dear Baylor,

He should consider himself lucky, the Vikings version of this story ends in a woodchipper.

Just imagine how she is going to react when someone tells her where pistachios come from...

Also:

Uh if the PSU alumni and fan base would, for the most part, acknowledged that Joe Paterno was a horrible human being and stop denying he was innocent and what he was a part of should never be excused just because he was good at winning football games, I might be inclined to agree with you.